Cats v Dogs

I don’t know the origin of this but thanks to Dorothy Lepowska-Hudson for sharing!

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG’S DAILY DIARY:

8 AM–Oh, boy! Dog food!  My favorite!

9:30 AM–Oh, boy! A car ride!  My favorite!

9:40 AM–Oh, boy!  A walk!  My favorite!

10:30 AM–Oh, boy!  Getting rubbed and petted!  My favorite!

11:30  AM–Oh, boy!  Dog food!  My favorite!

12 Noon–Oh, boy!  The kids!  My favorite!

1 PM–Oh, boy!  The yard!  My favorite!

4 PM–Oh, boy!  To the park!  My favorite!

5:30 PM–Oh, boy!  Pretty mums!  My favorite!

6 PM–Oh, boy!  Playing ball!  My favorite!

6:30 PM–Oh, boy!  Watching TV with my master!  My favorite!

8:30 PM–Oh, boy!  Sleeping in my master’s bed!  My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs! In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.

Also reminded me of this: Dog’s Rules of Ownership (piccy links broken there unfortunately!)

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About Sas Taylor

Yorkshire lass in Brum | wife | mother | homebased zoo keeper | ex-nurse | wonky thinker | photographer | macro iPhoneographer | that there @b31blog thing

4 responses to “Cats v Dogs”

  1. julesinrose says :

    Someone sent me this in an e-mail years ago. I thought it was pretty funny (so why do I sound so dry about it?)

    Well, perhaps it’s because I think my cat likes me and the stereotype of all cats being such aloof creatures isn’t correct. My cat is rather aloof, but when she does bring me a dead critter, I think she’s saying “Look Mom! I brought you a gift!”

    But maybe I am deluded. Though all that purring has to mean something, doesn’t it?

    I don’t mean to sound so serious!

    And no problem about not linking specifically to the exact spot in my blog where I mention personality tests! I love taking those silly tests, but I’ve discovered it caused me to get tons of new spam. Urggh!

  2. mrskarmadillo says :

    Oh I totally agree that cats have an unjust reputation as evil little furry monsters! I adore cats and they can be so loving, but I do think they’re perhaps fickle, rather than evil!

    This piece is just a humorous twist on stereotypes.

    I’ve shared my home with very many cats over the years and, like people they’re all different. From the motherless kitten adopted and hand fed from 2 weeks old who used to lie in my bed on his back like a human, head on my pillow, happily jump in my car and ride on the parcel shelf or follow me onto the bus, to the one who moved out simply because our neighbour had better cat food. 🙂

    I think cats are adorable, independent and comforting creatures and they’re happy to share the love – so long as they’re getting what they need from you!

    Yuk! Spam! I don’t get any…. as I get very few hits!! ;D

    x

  3. Simon Howes says :

    My dad has a saying;

    “When you feed a dog it thinks ‘Oh you’re a God!’, but when you feed a cat it thinks ‘Oh I’m a God!'”

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